Enneagram for YOURSELF

“Know thyself.” – Ancient Greek saying

Enneagram for YOURSELF

“Know thyself.” – Ancient Greek saying

The most common characteristic that successful people have is self-awareness. Self-awareness is having insight of one’s inner-most characteristics, such as beliefs, emotions, strengths, and weaknesses. Individuals who are self-aware not only have the ability to perceive their own thoughts and feelings, but have the ability to “read” others and the way they are recognized and perceived by them.

‘How can I create a thriving and fulfilling life?’

A power tool for understanding ourselves and our partners is the ENNEAGRAM – a personality framework of 9 CORE TYPES. In childhood, we gravitate towards one of these 9 types as a means of coping with and showing up in the world (and our relationships) as adults.

Other personality typing systems focus on traits and behaviours, whereas the Enneagram goes beyond that and focuses on the motivations for those very traits and behaviours, which is caused by a core fear.

Below is a short summary of each type’s core motivation and fear. Reading through the nine types, it is clear that not only the potential for a great relationship, but also the potential for severe conflict, exist between partners.

THE 9 CORE MOTIVATIONS OF EACH TYPE

To Be Good/Right

To Be Good/Right

Type Ones fear being wrong or lazy.

Perfectionists aim to be principled, good, controlled, and intentional. Not having high standards or being unexceptional is unacceptable to these individuals. They can be expected to overextend themselves to achieve, and to steer away from what is wrong towards what is virtuous.

To Be Loved/Wanted

To Be Loved/Wanted

Type Twos fear being unloved and unwanted.

Helpers feel that they need to be strong and generous towards others. They prove themselves worthy of love ad acceptance by taking the responsibility to help and support others to the point of sacrificing their own needs.

To Be Valued/Successful

To Be Valued/Successful

Type Threes fear being worthless and disrespected.

Achievers or Performers strive to achieve success and recognition by being ambitious, competitive, persuasive, and adaptable. They feel that they will earn the admiration, trust, and love of others through their reputation, image and self-image, and impressive achievements.

To Be Authentic/Significant

To Be Authentic/Significant

Type Fours fear having no meaning or significance.

Romantics or Individualists avoid being boring, normal, superficial, uninteresting, average, or mediocre. They seek depth, meaning, intimacy, and self-expression and earn love by being emotionally intense, creative, expressive, artistic, or dramatic. They may also come across as temperamental or spiritually inclined.

To Be Competent/Capable

To Be Competent/Capable

Type Fives fear not knowing.

Observers or Investigators aim at being in control by understanding their world. They are ruled by the head as opposed to the heart, seek learning and insight, and avoid feeling ignorant, inadequate, helpless, and clueless. They earn the respect and acceptance of others by being competent and effective.

To Be Secure/Safe

To Be Secure/Safe

Type Sixes fear chaos.

Loyalists or Guardians deeply engage with others and their environments to ensure that all is well. They have a strong sense of responsibility and respond to their inner distrust and doubt by being vigilant, supportive of others, and controlling. They are loyal and strive for security and connection with others.

To Be Satisfied/Content

To Be Satisfied/Content

Type Sevens fear deprivation.

Enthusiasts seek sensation, fun, stimulation, variety, and fulfilment to avoid disappointment, pain, sadness, and/or helplessness. Their spontaneous and versatile behaviour is aimed at pursuing desires that they fear will not be fulfilled by others.

To Be
Self-Governed/
Independent

To Be
Self-Governed/
Independent

Type Eights fear being controlled.

Challengers come across as assertive, wilful, self-directed, and confident. Their core fear is to be controlled, violated, betrayed, and/or limited by circumstances. They avoid this by taking control in a powerful and self-sufficient way to ensure they get what they want.

To Be At Peace/Harmonious

To Be At Peace/Harmonious

Type Nines fear being confronted.

Peacemakers are fearful of conflict, disharmony, and being disconnected from others. They therefore refrain from questioning or challenging themselves or other people and instead accommodate others to maintain peace, harmony, and stability.